A Juicy Tale

It must have been half past midnight. I was busy texting my virtual friends in WhatsApp, people I had never once met in my real life. I had always thought it was meaningless, these conversations. The dead and emotionless words and the freedom to backspace sentences meant you are totally clueless about what really went in each other’s mind. I missed those moments where a simple look into the other’s eyes would equate to countless words exchanged. I wondered how weird it would be if I ever get to meet any of them. But all these didn’t prevent me from chatting. That was the way of life, these days, and you were almost addicted to it, the thrill of being ‘friends’ with total strangers.

My roommate was busy with ‘Houses Of Cards’, the thrilling political drama, filled with awesome Kevin Spacey moments. He was glued to his tiny mobile screen, sitting like a duck, motionless. He must have been in the same position for the last three or four hours. God, doesn’t it hurt to sit like that? Apparently he didn’t care.

“Let’s go drink some juice?” Ah, must have finished an episode. “Now?” I asked. “Yea!” came the reply. I checked the time. It was later than I thought, ten minutes to one. “Wouldn’t they have closed by now?” I asked reluctantly. The fact that this city was one of the biggest Metros in the nation didn’t seem to have any effect on the night life here. Shops were to be closed before midnight. Very rarely you would find one or two shops open up to 1 am. The city I had in my mind before settling here was brimming with nightlife. And that’s just one among the many shattered dreams.

“It’s not one yet”, he said, “I know a place. There would be no traffic, we’ll reach there in five minutes.” I was still lazy to get up from the comfort of my bed. But a juice did seem inviting. “Okie! But you got to take your car!” I set my condition. I was already lazy, and burning up petrol wasn’t something I looked forward to. And it was his idea. People think owning a car is a big deal, but the fact is most often I drove it with my fuel indicator blinking, signaling imminent death. “Fine, let’s go”, he was already changing his shorts.

In a minute we were flying at over a hundred kmph, as the roads were virtually empty. The port was nearby and the roads usually were full of container trucks at this time of night, but today even those were too few. The climate was awesome. The breeze was cold and exhilarating. The smell of fresh air was heartwarming. I thanked him in my mind for this great ride. “It’s superb, driving at this time. See, these are the thrills of life. Doing simple things that we will cherish forever. Small things that makes life so awesome to live”, he was apparently intoxicated with the ride too.

We were half way through, when we noticed Police checking ahead. It was a routine at this time in many places. We slowed down to pass through the zigzag roadblocks. And then the Policeman on the right signaled us to park at the side of the lane. They usually rarely stop cars with a Medical emblem. One of the perks of being a doctor. “Must be due to added security. It’s independence day week, right?” I was sure about them letting us go as soon as we showed the ID cards. My friend was already out of the vehicle, “Sir, we’re GH doctors.” Although we weren’t doctors yet, we still used those words all the time. It was the trump card, no one asked too many questions afterwards.

“So what? Where are you staying?”

“At the College Hostel, sir.”

“Do they let you guys roam around at night? Isn’t it indecent driving around at this time?”

I was unsure if I’d heard that wrong. Did he just say indecent? The guy looked decent enough to have said that. I looked at my friend in his eyes, and it seemed he wasn’t sure about what he had heard too.

“Where are you going?”

“Eh, Juice…”

“What juice?”

Seriously? Did he wanted to know what juice we were going to drink? I thought of replying lime, but then voted in my mind against it. Maybe he would want to know sweet or salt next.

“Show the license, documents.” My friend reached for the documents inside.

 “Why are you going so far away to drink juice at this time pa? Can’t you wait until morning? Or you could just drink some water.”

I no longer knew what to reply. I wondered how he might have behaved if we were a pair of girls. This man called us indecent, what word would he use to describe them? He was already scanning through the documents. Then I saw a wicked and triumphant smile spread through his devilish lips.

“Where’s the NOC?”

It is mandatory by law to get a No Objection Certificate to drive other state registered vehicles. We didn’t have it. No one I knew had it. There are thousands of such vehicles in this city. It’s a metro. People from all over the country live here. Most of them never care to obtain an NOC for their vehicles. And the Police mostly didn’t care.

The trap was set. He winked at his senior officer. Seems his job is to find the prey. It’s the senior who gets to settle the scores. The new guy came toward us and started explaining the law points. We listened to him lecture through Transport rules, like fifth standard kids listening to literature. Just say the amount already, I sighed. At the end of the lengthy lecture both of us took our turns in explaining our ignorance of the rules, and in promising that we will go get the NOC first thing in the morning. We even swore never to drive the car again until we had an NOC.

He looked cold. He must have heard a thousand such pleas in his life time. It was music to his ears. He patiently heard us. And after we both had a turn, he replied, “That’s twenty thousand fine.”

We stared at each other. “Eh...Sir...” We tried our pleading in its entirety once more.

“Ok. Since you are medical students, I’ll leave you for three thousand.”

“But we don’t have any money with us, Sir“

“There’s the ATM ”

“We don’t have the ATM card”

He looked at us ferociously, “What do you have?”

“Sir, Juice…”

“Get the key”

“Sir….Please”

“Thousand?”

“Hundred”

“Five Hundred.” He was losing his patience.

“Sir, juice…”

“That’s enough get me the key.”

I looked at my friend. “Sir we don’t have five hundred.” He reached for his purse. I saw his fingers slipping the two thousand rupee notes. They vanished inside his fingers like magic.

“This is what we have”, he showed the purse. The poor guy didn’t get a chance to hide the hundred rupee notes.

“Take it all”

He gave him three hundred rupee notes. “Ok. Go now!” He wasn’t obviously happy with the catch.

In silence we got back to the car. I looked at my friend. The thrill had vanished from his face. The breeze that we so much enjoyed now felt chocking. The smell wasn’t of the fresh air, it was of the overflowing drains. The next five minutes went in dead silence. We reached the juice shop at half past one. It’d been close for half an hour. Without a word he took a U turn. Down poured the heaviest rains in recent times. If only this had happened half an hour earlier. But it wouldn’t, this is what they call destiny. We drove back in half visibility through roads filled with sewage and gutters.

The Butterfly Effect

Chaos: When the present determines the future, but the approximate present does not approximately determine the future

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            - Edward Lorenz

I am a doctor because I chose Hindi over Sanskrit in my 9^th standard. The butterfly effect. The same way a butterfly flapping its wings somewhere could lead to a hurricane elsewhere after some days. I must say it is way more complex than that. Or else life would already have been wiped out due to hurricanes, if each time a butterfly flaps its wings, a hurricane occurs.

However, the statement I made is one hundred percent true. I might never had been a doctor if I never chose to study Hindi as the second language in my 9^th. Let me explain. I scored low marks in Hindi in 10^th boards whereas most of my friends who took Sanskrit got marks north of 95 percent. The direct consequence being me unable to take Computer Science in 11^th. Choosing Science stream with Biology meant taking medical entrance more seriously than engineering entrance. You can make the rest of the connection. The choices we make, and its unforeseen consequences.

I don’t mean to say this is the only thing that led to this ‘situation’. It was a complex interplay between a lot of smaller and simpler choices, together leading to one path. What if I've had chosen the other way. I can never tell. All speculations are just that, speculations.

Consider this moment. This very moment. Where are you? What are you doing? Why are you doing what you are doing? What choices lead you down this path? Would you be doing this if one thing, just one choice, somewhere along the path would have been different? Can you ever tell what you would have been or where you would have been if you were not here?

Life is the sum of every single choice you ever made. So is it about making the right choice? Now that is where things get even more complex. The right choice. But what is a right choice? Recall a point in your life when you had to clearly make a choice between two things. Now think of having had chosen the other option. The outcome would have been different. But could you say that it would have been a wrong choice?

Every path is a right path. And every choice, a right choice. What is done is done. You can’t go back in time and change anything. Even if you could, the end result might not be what you had expected. Just like no matter how much you plan your life, and nothing turns out the way you intended it to be. It’s all chaos. The more you try to make it close to being perfect, the more it goes out of your hands. There can never be a plan that works out the way it was meant to be.

It is always the present that determines the future. Results are always outcomes of actions. The question is, how well you can determine the present. How can you ever know if something you do now can affect something else in the future? Some choices have obvious effects, while others might seem totally irrelevant now. The effect it has in your future, only future can tell.

The beauty of life lies in its very nature of being chaotic. Consider a life where you could totally and correctly predict the future. That would be the most boring and lifeless life ever. People repent past choices. They say, “Oh! Only if I had done this, the other way!” That is the most senseless thing that human beings ever tell. Because changing one condition can never alter the final outcome in your favor. It is always the outcome of choices you made that you might not even remember.

So the next time, you worry about the choices you make, or think about a past choice, think of the butterfly effect. Every path would have been the right path, and every path would have been the wrong path.

The Breaker of Chains

“To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, draw closer, to find each other, and to feel. That is the purpose of life.”

-          The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

There are some quotes, which the more you think about it, the more it affects the core of your life. They shake the very outlook you have on this world. They demand you to change your life forever. This, for me, was such a quote. And it’s from an awesome movie which is so close to my heart.

I always wanted to write a blog. It’s the laziness that has formed its deep roots in my veins that prevented me. This is my first attempt at trying to make a change, to break free.  And I begin by writing about the one thing millions have searched to find the meaning and purpose of, from the beginning of mankind - Life.

What is the purpose of my life? I haven’t found a better answer than the quote above. The dreams and ambitions of people vary. Some want fame, others money. Some choose service, others business. But all these are just means to live. You can live a rich life, a famous life, but is that the purpose? Why do you live?

Most people I've known are too busy even to think of such a question. People most often live about their lives in ways they are always expected to. It doesn't mean they never give a thought to such a question. It’s just that they have stopped caring. You study, you get a job, you earn money, you get married, and you raise a family. That’s the norm. Why?? That’s never asked. That’s ridiculous to ask, would say most. I find no fault in their outlooks. People are always the product of their societies. It’s the way people have lived over the years and the society expects you to continue living the same way. And it is the way you’ll most likely end up living.

There are indeed, people who think different. People who contemplate the nature of life they are living, people who want to change the usual ways. Education and media have empowered us to think better. In your early twenties, when you are getting matured, when you acquire knowledge that changes your views about life, you start thinking about what you want. You come up with all the glittering dreams of you travelling the world, meeting people. And then, the society intervenes. It’s like a machine that checks for imperfections. An imbalance in the system and everything comes with full force to role things back to order. You just can’t escape it.  Dreams are shattered. Maybe, it’s more like, dreams are neglected. Compromise is the word. You abide by the choices of your ‘well-wishers’.

Now the question arises. Is that how you really want to live? Without even realizing the very purpose you’re alive? I believe there is only one life. Even if there’s more, we can’t just be sure. So why not dare to live it the way we want to? Life is to excel in the way we go about living it. If you ask me what you think is the purpose of your life, I would say that it is to feel that sense of accomplishment you’ll have, when you finally do something you always dreamed of. It is to see, to know, to understand, and appreciate the beauty of the world we live in. To know the people and their cultures, to live in far off areas. To feel the love, the human connection. It is to live such a life, so that the day you die, you’ll not regret, you’ll feel blessed to have lived it.

And I believe it is possible. I see Instagram feeds filled with mesmerizing pics of the world, I see the lives of people who do just this. But in this society, can you really do it? Tough, but not impossible. There are chains tying you down to the ground. Chains that makes it impossible to fly. Dreams, shattered, lie all around us. Hopes, neglected, surround us.

Yet, the world is calling. Life is calling. How long can you ignore? The breaker of chains reside in every one of us. Bring him out. Dare to break free. Attain heights. We can’t keep being slaves to the system, the society. Let’s just change the society, give wings to dreams of future generations. Let us be the ones who lead the way. I believe the only ones whom we are responsible to, are our parents. And every parent wishes the good of their child.  So if we have it in us, the courage to tell them, to make them understand, we could really give them back what they gave us all these years. Just think about that visit to Venice with your parents. Tempting isn't it?

Life is short, yet it is the greatest possession we have. Think about your life, think about what you really want to achieve, and not just what you can achieve. Society might try to keep you behind fences, but think, do you live to prove anything to the society? It’s your life, and live it the way you want. Break free, live a rocking life.